Earlier we looked at the individual experiences of men and women in achieving orgasm. But, as with all the best love-play, orgasms should be a shared experience. That doesn’t mean to say, however, that they must occur necessarily at the same time.
Some couples feel erroneously that only a simultaneous orgasm is the perfect one. This is a romantic notion that doesn’t necessarily work for all lovers. At the moment of climax, you move to an entirely different level of consciousness, and you become totally absorbed in the experience. If you are prevented from doing so, because you need to know where your partner is, you may not be able to manage a climax at all, or manage it less well. And, for many lovers, watching the other experiencing his or her orgasm is the greatest of sexual turn-ons.
For most couples, the attainment of simultaneous orgasms only happens now and then, and sex is no less enjoyable for that. Seeking simultaneous orgasms should not become obsessive. There are many patterns of successful lovemaking that exclude simultaneous orgasms (and some that exclude all orgasms), but nonetheless draw couples very close and have infinite positive effects on everyday experiences as well as on social and family life.
And then there are the exceptional circumstances – prolonged and multiple orgasms — that are quite rare unless both partners are aware of each other’s sexual needs, and are generous enough to look after them. Most couples find these forms of sexual intercourse the most exciting and sexually satisfying, but they take quite a lot of practice and are most often found within long-term relationships. Partners must be very familiar with each other and have worked to reach a state of sexual sophistication.
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